The parents of a seven-year-old boy missing in the mountains of northern Japan have admitted that they left him alone in the woods as a punishment.
The child has not been seen for two days, since his parents abandoned him in northern Hokkaido, a region home to wild bears.
The couple first told police he got lost as they foraged for vegetables.
But they later confessed they had left him alone for five minutes to punish him but when they returned he had gone.
Hundreds of emergency service workers are combing the area in search of the boy.
The father told a TV Asahi reporter he did not dare admit the truth while requesting a search.
The couple had walked some 500m (a third of a mile) from the child before returning, the TV channel reported.
“But at least you made sure that there were no wolves in the area… right? RIGHT?”
“Well, if we did that, it would defeat the purpose of the exercise!”
(Observing Hiver nods in agreement)
I am confident that every born Emptyhead has at least a few childhood stories that fit with the Hilariously Abusive Childhood motif. But this doesn’t have to be restricted to the terrifying beatdowns in the style of Maxim Gorky’s My Childhood.
Just bring over a Suedzuk baby sitter, whose belly starts rumbling when she sees her charges – “especially the fat one.”
“What lunatic would hire a Blood Vargr as a babysitter?!? Why not something sane, like a good-with-kids Irilitok Vargr, who could happily run and play for hours with kids?”
“But the Blood Vargr is cheap…”
“…and lean, and hungry…”
‘What are you, some kind of racist?”
“Humans are the most biologically comparable lifeforms to the Vargr digestive system for hundreds of parsecs…”
“They have had their own livestock for millennia now, and have imported lots of Terran meat animals as well! And the Vargr have their own bioengineers, able to create and modify specialized livestock…”
“Sure. But that doesn’t change the fact that there are billions of pre-packaged meals simply walking past the noses of the Suedzuk. Whose going to notice it if a few members of the lowest classes – the homeless, say, or beggars, or even subsistence farmers – simply vanish every night, instead of killing themselves off in fights or with booze or with a diabetic coma?”
“In the Imperial Empty Quarter, it’s real easy to set off an anti-Vargr riot. Real easy. Especially on the Solomani worlds.”
“I bet that – even in this day and age – there are still Blood Vargr that insist you gain more charisma with hunting wild game than you ever can by going to the butchers.”
“I think you’re wrong, and whoever is telling you this is pulling your leg. There are still far too many Emptyheads that like their Vargr bone charms, or wear Vargr-pelt jackets when whiny and sensitive Imperial Core Outsiders aren’t around. Even the Blood Vargr prefer to hunt less dangerous prey when they can!”